nobody’s going to hurt you…

…and if they try, give them hell.

Worst Case Scenario #1:

You are completely ridiculed by every single person in the room. You will continue off a life legacy of pain and embarrassment.

Worst Case Scenario #2:

Someone tries to hurt or touch you.

Worst Case Scenario #3:

You die.

Is there some sort of anatomical benefit to embarrassment? I mean, everything we do in human nature serves a purpose. Like my need to feel accepted, it goes back to the days where societies would kill those that were excluded. ……oh. Well there you go… we inherently want to be accepted. By going against the grain of normality, you stand out.  It seems like that’s not always a good thing. I mean, everybody wants to be the snowflake protagonist… But in actuality, we’re all smarties, m&ms and skittles.. jambled together in a pool. We are all different and equal in every way.

If I continue to live my life in fear of what others feel about me or think about me, I risk missing out on some wild fucking adventures. Every single time I go out, I can’t help but find myself stuck in this loop of wonder. “Will anybody notice me?” “Do I look pretty enough?” “Will I have any fun?” “Do I look stupid?”

Heavens to betsy, girl. I’m a think tank of fuckery, perpetrating negligence by filling my mind with displeasure. It get’s so exhausting, hauling the stress above my head like these little things actually matter. It never gets fun. It’ll never change. I just need to let go and be wild.

As much as I can profess how free I am in spirit, my mind and body continue to feel the weight of the chains where my anxiety heaves and pulls. There’s no way to escape the grasp of it’s hold. I just need to accept the pain for what it is and find my own way to enjoy it. Let it melt and dissolve as I fully come to realize how little it all really matters.

We are nothing and everything all at the same time. If I died today, people would cry but my soul will live on with no recollection of this pain I might feel right now. There is pure bliss behind the struggle. There is a core of actuality, waiting to be explored, waiting to feel acknowledged of it’s truth. Patiently waiting for realization.

Life has no goal. We may label our ambitions as such but what brings it all together is how I feel right now. I am more than who I appear to be. Nobody knows who I am based on the clothes that I’m wearing or the people I hang out with. You can only know when you try. Oh man, oh man. I’m living my best life. I’m enjoying the freedom of peace. I’m just so bored of how stable this life is that I have to make excuses. I’m doing fucking great, man. No need to ask. It seems overwhelming but the truth is that I’m so fucking free.

We are all so fucking abundant.

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