dealing with the fury of people: don’t take it personally
B: What did you just say to me? What the fuck did you just say to me?
A: wow, she must be having a bad day
B: no, what the fuck did you just say to me back there. I’m not feeling very well.. yeah, but what did you just say to me back there?
A: I said WOW she must be having a bad day
And with that, the disgruntled woman at coat check I had the pleasure of meeting kissed her teeth and walked away with the vigour of an 8 year old having a tantrum.
I could be mad. In fact, instinctively, I was. So many would have taken her words with a to heart, causing a scene that she was looking for, a reason to dispel what seems like she’s repressed. But her words just made me so damn curious. What was her upbringing like? Who showed her how to act like this?
You don’t lash out on people because it’s natural to you and your DNA. You lash out on people because people have lashed out on you. That’s why I find it incredibly disheartening seeing parents yell at their kids. They’re showing them how to react and act, in a loop the kids are likely to follow.
A disgruntled racist elderly on the subway probably isn’t as fucked up as they seem. They may have faced extreme adversity growing up or suffer from a mental illness. We can only progress in society through awareness. By transferring your energy from anger to understanding, you’ll find peace with yourself and with these people. (PLUS, all they want is a reaction. They need something to pour their stress into, when in reality, all they really need is someone to listen. I’m sure they’d be a pleasure to talk to if you set aside your differences).
In no way will you live into old age without having witnessed real life prejudice or confrontation (unless you live in a hole). From envy, diversity, orientation, ethnicity, disability, gender, religion… it’s just life. Shit happens. And it’s impossible to satisfy everybody because we are ALL so different. In this way, we are all free to share, hear and express our own opinions. It’s just up to you in how you receive it. Phobic insinuation or dickhead behaviour may sting momentarily, but in no way do these opinions truly affect your life. You are so much more than what someone thinks of you. Step away and move up. We are all imperfect people, so we must remain open minded to our differences.
On that note, here’s a beautiful story of redemption. There’s hope to be had. Have faith.