being jealous and envious are incredibly useful emotions
We often look to others to see how we’re placed in society. The amount we offer the community becomes our sense of worthiness within it. Subjectively, the process of envy or jealously can be incredibly useful, depending upon how you react to it. If you actively look past the self-deprecating, self-rejecting nature of envy stemmed from comparison, our brains are actively shifted into gear to push for greater. It’s easy to want more just because it seems nice, but to have an objective to obtain is better.
But what really matters at the root of all are our intentions.
Why Are Humans Envious Creatures?
Dating back into an age of hunting, gathering, and reproducing with the strongest, best baby making mate, envy was about survival. These primal beings would feel threatened by the prospect of losing their precious resources, be it their partner, family or access to food, creatures from every plane would feel this primal nature to secure their survival through this competitive nature. Loss of love (and noms) is lost of life.
To progress or oppress. To seek community or to reap envy in others.
Primal Minds, Modern Times
The modern human, consuming a diet of mass produced heart disease and handheld digital dopamine parties, have only been in existence for a fraction of the amount of time humans evolved in the first place. Our primal nature is still deeply engraved in our daily interactions and roots. We need to become more actively aware of our tendencies. Being a human being is a lot simpler than we’ve been brought up to believe. In a money-serves-all society, growing up has become a culture of consumption. More entertainment, meant more television, which meant more innovations, that brought on Facebook and instagram. Now, its more practical to pursue the easy route for all occasions.
Where Do We Feel Envy?
Do you experience this bellowing sense of inadequacy when you’re on Instagram? Facebook? At work? With friends? Or family? As we analyze these deeper sources to why we feel the way we do and when we feel these ways, we can better surrender and overcome the overthought. Nothing worsens the blow of any hard emotion than to suppress, ignore and resent (ourselves) for feeling it.
How Do We Use Envy for Good?
Envy can be useful, if we allow ourselves to transmute intentions into something sustainable. Feeling like you want to be better than someone else, to work hard to reach your self made parameters of superiority will leave you feeling empty for another goal. But to transform the intention from ‘being better than them’ to ‘being better than I was’, the game is no longer an uncontrollable, frankly unstable achievement. But from a starting point, changing course into a much more satisfying, healthier and sustainable prize like self-improvement will reap benefits. Envy can be the start of something good, so as long as your intentions transform into reaching a good place. Nothing good can come from wanting less for someone else. That’s the ego’s game.
The Process of Transmuting Envy and Jealous
1. Centre yourself from the emotions.
Take a breathe, and level yourself. Feel the physical sensation of this mental emotion. Do you feel a block in your throat? Is your stomach hollowing? Is your head starting to heat up?
2. Question yourself (or others).
As soon as you bring yourself back to centre, ask yourself, ‘How am I feeling?’ ‘Why do I feel that way?’ ‘Where did this insecurity root from?’ It’s okay to ask questions to (what would seem like) incredibly obvious answers. Going through this myself, I took it upon myself to talk to the person in question that triggers these emotions for me. Taking down the veil by understanding that the other person isn’t participating in this mind made competition gives yourself the clarity and awareness that the other person isn’t deliberating trying to make you feel bad. It’s something you have to understand within yourself.
3. Forgive yourself.
The key to learning is to make mistakes. You won’t overcome a hard emotion in the matter of a day, so look at these difficult scenarios as a blessing of a lesson. It get’s easier with time. So, don’t be hard on yourself for not getting it straight away. It takes time.
4. Keep it up.
Remember to practise actionable steps when you face a tough scenario. Practise makes better.
Every ‘negative’ emotion, comes from a root of purity. Envy can become admiration and curiosity. If we stop ourselves short from learning, then suffering happens with no purpose.