enjoy yourself as a single human bean

The act of falling in love is fairly easy. You find a person you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with, you have babies or you don’t and everything from there is pretty much decided. It differs from person to person. But when you grow up sheltered from a life, this can’t be the ONLY way to live the rest of it. Now, if you’re an extravert and not typically found behind a book or solo Netflix and chilling on the weekends, then I suggest the only type of early settlement you should be hearing about is in the history books. To continue, a big factor of failed relationships is FOMO… or just MO in general. Missing out on experiencing other people, other places, other things. You basically need to get sick of that lifestyle to settle. So, through an extremists perspective, you need to live a life before you settle on juan (double entendre, espesh if you have a preference for Mexicans).

Travel (solo).

It could be completely alone or with your pals, it’s up to you. Join a tour group,  throw a dart at a map with friends, fulfill your bucket list wishes. MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD (only if you have some income and are serious about paying it off. G don’t play with money). As long as you go in with no expectations and leave with an endless supply of memories, it’ll make every hour of labour and every moment of planning worth it.

Live the single city life.

Bars, clubs, strip clubs, bath houses, brothels, massage parlours. To each their own. It’s an easy type of fun everybody should experience in their lives. Many weekends culminating in this will be sure to leave you sick of it. Explore every club and bar your downtown has to offer. The goal is to be too tired of the club scene, to outgrow the era of drunk 4am burger runs and all nighter real talks. I long to recount the adventures of my young adult years to those willing to hear future me and my newfound motherly persona. By the end of my clubbing drinking days, I’ll fulfill most things.. like this list):

  • Successfully get drunk without spending a single dollar.
  • Pour alcohol on the ground for the homies.
  • (Tastefully) mack a professional sports player.
  • Be the life of the party.
  • End up in a different city.
  • Dance (tastefully) on a stripper pole in front of people.
  • Have an amazing night with strangers (turned friends).

Explore yourself and other people.

If having some crazy sexual fantasy is something you’ve always wanted to explore, why not take the time to fulfill it while you can. Trust me when I say, there are plenty of people who feel the same way. Nowadays, there are so many platforms for your wildest desires, be it a simple hook up or a toe sucking orgy. Go out and explore. Buy tickets to some crazy sex convention in your city or get with a cutie on tinder. Once you’re in a serious and committed relationship, the thought of hooking up with someone else is usually the closest you’ll ever get to being wild. Do it now (literally) so you’ll never want to later on. (To note, the term ‘hook up’ is different for everybody. Take it as you will).

Worship yourself.

Humility is a virtue, don’t get me wrong. But the satisfaction of hearing how good you look doesn’t hurt every once in a while. Your 20s are rightfully your most selfish years. Work out, eat well, get into optimal shape, dress up for yourself. When you look good, you feel good. Once you reach a certain level, your feelings of are they looking at me? or I hate how I look in this kajigger will plummet in tandem. You gotta learn how to love yourself. This is so very important. Sooo, have eye sex with a cute stranger. Grab a number or three, have someone buy you a drink or buy someone else a drink! Dress to the 9s. Go to a fricken ball. There’s no harm in feeling good about yourself.

Everybody is different. You can have these desires at any point in your life or maybe not at all. But if you find yourself cringing at this list, you are ready. Go forth. Be with your lobster.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *