the one skill that will redefine your life
…is radical acceptance.
Accept the things you can’t control. The only thing you can try to change is yourself.
What do you want out of life? Why do you want that? Who do you want in your life? Why do you want them? There seems to be this great misunderstanding that to be happy, we must look outside of ourselves to get there. But through constantly looking for it, we’ll never reach that point.
I’ve thought about hurting myself. I’ve worried about what other people thought of me. I’ve lived in fear and trauma over the people in my life. I’ve sat in deep contemplation about my future and felt the lowest of lows from experiences that are over to experiences I won’t even be able to have. I still do some of these things today. But what changes how I feel about these things is how much I know it doesn’t truly effect me. Every insight outside of myself has either been a deterrent or attribution to my own self-worth. But through this continuing journey of self-actualization, I’ve realized (acknowledging how cliche this sounds) that it starts with me.
To begin, I really value advice and perspective from the people in my life. But in retrospect, someone else’s opinion won’t always necessary be true for you. It may seem right and good (especially if you really value this person’s advice), but there really is no right or wrong. However you perceive a situation will differ greatly from person to person.
Life needs radical acceptance. We must accept what makes us different. What makes your room mate angry, what disappoints your parents, what you dislike about your partner, what causes you physical or emotional pain, who can’t be in your life, what you can’t have and what you can’t change.
Life warrants radical acceptance. To focus more on the gratitude in living a peaceful life. In being able to sleep in your own bed and choose what makes you laugh, or being able to afford the little comforts of life to experiencing something that makes you smile even just for a moment.
If rejection makes us feel the most disillusioned and lost in life, than to accept this truth is to live. No more fear of the unknown, despite the mild stress that sometimes pushes us for more (for example sake, without feeling anxious, I wouldn’t always have something to write about.. and writing is one of the most fulfilling things I do). We must learning to accept these truths.
… because happiness involves radical acceptance.