the process of truly loving yourself
Weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to come face to face with myself. I thought I had reached a revelation and that everything, from that moment forward, would be different. To a certain degree, yes, things have changed. But what I hadn’t realized was that that first meeting.. was only just an introduction.
One moment, I’ll look at myself like the Goddess of Nutella (a sweet treat, some sexy food for ya eyes to eat). While other times, I’ll feel like a buttcheek on a stick. I’ve noticed that these feelings don’t often present themselves until I’ve started to witness beauty in others.
The root of these problems (for me) comes from watching.. and not receiving. Becoming a bystander to someone else’s shower of love. In the same way, my own satisfaction was usually fed through compliments. I would feel momentarily full when I was being admired. And yet, when admiration wasn’t happening to me, I’d feel hollow.
This self hatred begins through comparison.
Since when did I need someone to tell me I’m beautiful to really feel that way? Since when did hearing someone else being admired make me feel any less admirable. Why should I work so hard to improve myself just for someone to call me pretty? Do I need that?
I feel like this is in our primitive nature. Everything we do can be traced back into the age of survival. I used to feel so threatened by beautiful women because I’d feel as if they’d take away my chances of finding love. I grew up under the assumption that we are all at war with one another. We must work hard to be the best..
Well, in truth, everybody likes different things and love can be shared. There is no competition.
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese
When we witness people basing their attention to others on looks, that shallowness is quite obvious. It’s honest human connection that allows us to fully grow and develop relationships. Looking a certain way should not effect how you live your life. It shouldn’t effect the types of relationships you create. It shouldn’t effect how happy you can be.
It’s an ongoing learning process to love and care for ourselves and our bodies. It seems that, what truly matters in life takes time.
You are good enough. When you love yourself and give into that feeling of freedom (like dancing in public or speaking your mind and owning it) people take notice. When they see someone doing it, they become attracted themselves.
After reflecting moments of jealousy from my insecurities, I slipped back into the primary mindset I had when I discovered myself. Although I finally entered the door, I never really explored the room. “How can you give to others when you’re barely full yourself. Only until you’re at 120% can you pour yourself into others” said Marina, this very fantastic woman in my life.
It’s simple. Everyday:
- Spend at least 5 minutes of mindfulness focusing on a body part.
- Admire something about yourself in the mirror.
- Appreciate a characteristic or skill you embody.
- Find something that makes you laugh.
- Treat yourself.
- Pamper yourself.
Selfishness and self love are two very different things. Learn to distinguish both. Care for yourself the most.